A Hella Mean Halloween

Ween-Hallo

Friday the 24^th, I had another work day with Joe.

We planned out some glass coffee tables we're going to build, and then we tried to interface with Paula and Athennia for dinner.

But that didn't work out, so I introduced Joe to the wonderful world of Qdoba instead :)

Then around 10:00 P.M. he asked if I felt like tagging along on a few DoorDash runs with him.

DoorDash is basically Halloween in reverse. Ween-Hallo.

Somebody somewhere says to himself,

Our travels sent us to an Asad's Hot Chicken restaurant, which I hadn't previously seen or heard of.

But, man, was that place hoppin'!

It was busy enough that I elected to wait in the car, and I busied myself with nicknaming everyone inside...

What's really crazy is just how tall Larry Cloudscrape must be, because I know for a fact that Pinkwell Gibbons is 5'10"... and Lawrence here appears to have another two feet on him at least!

Meanwhile, there was some action going on outside as well...

Luckily, Pinkwell and I got out of there unscathed and dropped off FatPants LazyBones's Chili-Diablo Asad McWhopper^TM sandwich.

The parking lot was jam-packed, but we got the most fortuitous parking space...

Then we had a few trips to Wendy's, and ended up at good ol' Mickey-D's—because, who can resist the siren song of 0.02-ounce pink-slime burgers and deep-fried chunks of dirty dish sponges billed as Chicken McNuggets^TM?

I will admit, driving around all that fried food for an hour and a half—with the exception of the McDonald's smell of fried butthole—really made me crave some fried chicken.

So, as it approached dinnertime the following night, I told Kitten that we absolutely had to go to Chic-fil-A.

Even though we knew better, we went to the crazy Chic in Oxford Valley.

Their parking lot is like a maze for laboratory rats, and every mouse is trying to get to the cheese at the same time... except most of them have the IQ of a turnip.

Business is so busy that they actually have high-school kids out there taking your order on their iPads!

By the time you get to this little toll booth and the menu, you've already had your order taken 10-15 minutes prior. These are just relics now: the vestiges of a bygone era of simpler times...

Guess whose ass we got to stare at for the better part of a half hour though?

They must not have Chic-fil-A over in Jersey, so this guy had to trek all the way over to PA for some nuggs and a pack of waffle fries.

Crazy.

And, when we did finally make it to the end of the maze and get our food, who do you think was responsible for the hold up at the stop sign posted at the parking lot's exit?

Here's a helpful comparison of how an ordinary stop sign looks through a Pennsylvanian's eyes versus a New Jerseyian's eyes...

It felt like it was 2028 by the time we got back home; but it was so worth it...

Later that evening, Kitten and I watched the Buffy movie—which I found to be pretty forgettable, and still would have thought so even if I'd seen it in my teens.

Sunday was pretty uneventful; but on Monday the 27^th, Kitten received a "shelter in place" order on her phone!

We're on the second floor of a locked building; so I thought nothing of it.

But then a short time later I went out to the kitchen to grab a drink, and I saw cop-car lights over in the GIANT parking lot.

Then, next thing we knew, we saw a police drone shoot up into the sky and zip all around over our apartment complex and the surrounding neighborhood for the better part of 10 minutes.

Whoever they're looking for, they think he's RIGHT HERE.

We waited until they brought the drone back down, and then we decided this was a perfect time to carry our trash out to the dumpster. So, that's exactly what we did...

I didn't hear any gunshots or see them haul anyone away in cuffs.

On Tuesday evening I was feeling lazy and whipped up a batch of basic "taco nachos" for dinner, since Kitten was still in the midst of her "mandatory overtime" stint at work...

Riley's friend Kassie invited her to Shady Brook Farm in Yardley, where they went through a haunted house and hung out listening to live music around a bonfire for a couple hours...

On Wednesday, Joe and I scheduled another work day... or tried to.

It started off benevolent enough. Check out this score!

Maybe you didn't even notice it. I'll zoom in...

That, my friends, is a free pallet. It's probably just crappy pine and will only save us about 35 cents in lumber costs; but it was free, and now it's ours.

Better yet, when we went over to the dumpsters to snatch it, we found a wrought-iron table base hiding behind one of the dumpsters, and Joe reckoned that it would probably be a perfect fit for the top of a wooden table we grabbed at a thrift store a couple weeks back, which we're planning to turn into a steampunk chess table sometime soon.

And he was right!

Ultimately we mostly got shafted because Home Depot waited until 2:00 in the afternoon to fulfill the order we'd placed the previous Thursday. And Joe had a concert to go to down in center city that evening; so we only got a little bit of work completed before the clock sort of ran out on us.

Later that evening, Kitten and I watched The Maze Runner.

And then on her way to work Thursday morning, Kitten had someone in front of her fling a cinder up and put a nice little starburst in her windshield that we'll have to try to epoxy this weekend :/

Of course, Friday was Halloween. All the rain was supposed to have been over and done with the day before; so, why did the sky look like this on Friday morning?

Things cleared up later on though :)

We headed over to my parents' house so Riley could go out trick-or-treating with Liv and Hannah.

And my parents got their only visitor of the entire evening...

I didn't think to get pictures of Liv and Hannah: Liv was Elsa from Frozen and Hannah was a mummy.

Kelly did a phenomenal job on Hannah's costume—and on the embalming process, to boot: I didn't catch so much as a whiff of formaldehyde at any point throughout the evening!

Riley was Harley Quinn from Suicide Squad, and Athennia put on her glasses and carried around a cookie so she could say she was a "smart cookie."

Then it was dark enough to head out...

The first house we came to was the ultimate litmus test for a three-year-old and a five-year-old: If they could brave this one, they'd probably be able to handle anything else we might encounter!

They did great!

We made our way through the neighborhood, which is far nicer, far safer, far richer, and far quieter than anywhere Riley would have been able to venture back home.

At this house, the girls had to wait for the two hockey players that beat them to the punch...

Jonesy and Reilly were nice enough to leave some candy behind for everyone else though...

At one point we encountered a pharoah, and I told him we'd found one of his mummies but we weren't giving her back.

Oddly enough though, he did seem to have some sort of magnetic pull to which Hannah found herself drawn more than once!

We decided to skip a few houses and put some distance between ourselves and him to break the spell :)

We found Oogie Boogie and Jack Skellington...

And a giant spider...

Liv and Hannah actually were not big fans of this house at all: They must have triggered something or another that startled them when they got to the door... and hopefully they didn't even notice that horrifying face in the upstairs window :)

We encountered a man traveling with his wife and kids but carrying a huge pillowcase over his shoulder. He asked us if we wanted an "adult trick or treat," which I declined because I couldn't imagine that being anything I'd actually want to accept from a complete stranger.

But Athennia opted for a "treat" and got an Angry Orchard hard cider.

And then Kelly opted for a "trick" and got a tiny bottle of Fireball!

Shortly thereafter, Liv decided she was too parched to go on and announced that she was all done with candy and just wanted some water.

So Kelly and Steve split off from us to take the girls back to my parents' house, and Athennia and I were left chaperoning our 15-year-old daughter around like we're the worst helicopter parents of all time.

We did walk past a pair of boys who couldn't have been more than 11 or 12 though, and Athennia and I watched them gawk at Riley and then heard them comment to each other,

We soon made our way back to my parents' house as well, and found the princess and the mummy sipping their precious waters...

Kind of an odd cup choice for Hannah though...

Here's one from when I'd crumbled up a piece of paper for Penny to bat around, and then Odin came and put his butthole right on it to ensure that I'll never touch it again...

And here's me and Penny...

And...