Hollow Darkness, My Old Friend

We found ourselves with a free afternoon on Sunday and headed to Dark Hollow to see how much of it was still above water.

Spoiler alert: Not much.

It had rained all day Saturday; so, we knew things would be a bit soggy...

Naturally, the disused but perfectly good creek bed that runs through the brush next to the path was practically bone-dry...

...while the path itself was trying its hand at being a creek...

But, we went along our merry way, until...

Oh, wow.

It was quite an obstacle.

Not sure whether this one's surmountable, boys: There's no sign of Paul Bunyan, or a police officer, or even a crossing guard to help get us out of this mess!

This was the kind of thing that makes the government want to spray-paint the entire area Dorito orange and put up some traffic cones so no one gets hurt.

We knew that we were taking our lives into our own hands at this point, and that our continued safety was not guaranteed.

But, as it turned out, once we acknowledged the immense risk to life and limb that the fallen tree presented, we were actually able to just... step over it and keep going.

30 feet ahead, however, we ran into a more problematic obstacle...

The stakes weren't super high here, but they were high enough:

Anyone who didn't make every step count was destined to walk out of this park with their pants looking like Montezuma had indeed taken his revenge!

Athennia and Riley both had waterproof boots, which they only wear on occasions like these.

But my trail sneakers are only "water-resistant"—a clever marketing buzzword that means "not waterproof" but makes it sound like a feature instead of a bug.

I've also used these sneakers as my daily drivers for about a year now—to the point that, if they were tires, their tread wouldn't pass inspection—which would definitely make things interesting in a make or break moment hinging on whether or not I was able to get traction in the mud when I needed it most.

So far, we had all been lucky; so, we navigated the quicksand—and a dozen other mud puddles just like it—as we continued into the woods...

We eventually arrived at the power-line field: You've of course seen countless permutations of these same pics before, but we snapped new ones anyway; so, you get to see them again...

I don't know why, but there's something majestic about these towers—even if they are a giant eyesore across the landscape...

On a sadder note, speaking of eye sores, we came across a stray jet-black kitten in the brush and noticed that his right eye was missing (with a nasty looking wound that was almost certainly infected).

He laid there in a patch of dead grass and watched our approach—seemingly very reluctant to run, although he did finally bolt once we got within three feet of him...

It's always heart-wrenching to encounter a situation like that and have to acknowledge that there was nothing you could have done to help :(

We traversed the rest of the field and took the cut-off to head back to the delta where the creek splits.

Just as we got there, the darkening sky gave us pause...

Athennia and the molerat were dressed in layers, yes...

...But they'd also be the first ones to freeze if we got caught in a downpour.

So, how do you want to play this, ladies?

Pfft—obviously we're gonna keep going!

—the ladies

It's always interesting when Athennia and I unknowingly shoot the same photo on occasion.

Here's mine, taken on our way into the woods...

...and hers, taken about 45 minutes later on our way back out...

I find it fascinating every time we're back here that a ragtag cluster of grass managed to put down enough roots to maintain this little delta—even withstanding the occasional raging floodwaters capable of eroding the nearby landscape...

As always, we hung a right to go down past the "Hexxus tree"...

Athennia and I took the same picture again—this time seconds apart from each other, and from an almost identical vantage point...

The water was two or three inches higher than normal, which proved just enough of a pain in getting over to that island so we could pick up the path again up around that bend on the left and continue back to the foot of the mountain and the giant rockfaces.

Athennia and Riley took advantage of their waterproof boots, but I had to procure a few stepping stones for myself.

And then we pressed onward...

We happened upon this tree that we initially thought had been hit by lightning, until we realized it's just oozing tons of sap from a knot midway up its trunk...

Riley had been asking the entire time whether we thought she would find any salamanders; and I had answered that I wasn't so sure, given the falling temperatures and all the recent rain.

When we got back into the heart of the park—or, into the hollow, if you will—she lamented that she just wanted to be able to find and hold one salamander.

Literal seconds later, I saw this out-of-place piece of wood with some nails in it—and I gently nudged it with my foot to investigate whether it was just a standalone block or attached to something larger underground...

My kick moved the wood an inch or two—just enough for me to spot the telltale tail of a salamander, to which I promptly alerted Riley.

And suddenly, she was a happy girl...

Just a few dozen yards away, I noticed this stump covered in fungal ping-pong balls, and I knew Athennia would want to get some artsy shots...

But I had no idea how much she'd end up capturing or how crazy the pics would end up being!

The park actually tried to offer us breakfast...

Riley touched that slug and it pooped what looked like egg yolk all over her hands (which she didn't manage to fully wash off until we got home)!

And, the pancakes weren't quite done; so, we didn't eat them...

But, we kept our distance from the spiders; so, they didn't eat us...

We had known before we'd even left the house that we did not feel like scaling the mountain today...

So, bounded by the creek on one side and the mountain on the other, that meant the only thing left to do was see what the water level was like back here to determine whether we were able to get back to the giant rockfaces.

I couldn't believe how green everything still was:

My friend Lee and I hiked here on 26 October last year—the anniversary of which is just over a week from now—and everything was already yellow by then...

Here's the same picture from our current trip...

It's kind of hard to tell in these pics, but crossing here this time would've been treacherous: We already knew the water was deeper than usual from all the rain; and the leaves in the water made it impossible to see where we would've been stepping...

Best-case scenario? One of us likely would've ended up plunging a foot in past the top of their boot.

Worst-case scenario? Slipping and falling during a misjudged step and seriously injuring ourselves two miles out in the woods in the middle of an otherwise empty park.

In any case, the creek was flooded just enough up ahead to stop us from progressing any farther anyway; so, there was no reason to gamble...

Here's what it looked like around that bend last year with Lee...

Hopefully we'll get an opportunity to return in a few weeks' time after the first frost puts the trees into party mode and they start changing colors.

But, for now, we decided to call it a day and head back...

Having had our adventure cut a bit short back in the woods, we stopped at the Mill Road bridge by the parking lot for a few minutes...

Oh, and... remember this teetering bad boy that Athennia and I spotted back in mid-September of last year?

It would seem that they've finally replaced it!

The new one's looking spry, like he'll be able to hold those wires for decades to come. But then again, they built him out of termite food and stuck him in a precarious location surrounded by falling trees and an eroding soil bank.

So, I guess we'll see...

They shoulda just popped in one of these iron giants!

That thing will outlive us all.

Athennia got some artsy shots throughout the hike.

I think they're some of her best work ever...

But, do any of those hold a candle to this moldy log I found?

Speaking of things that should probably burn but don't...

This garbage-heap is at the corner of York Road and Almshouse... and I'm mildly fascinated to consider a reality in which someone actually continues paying property taxes for the privilege of owning this one-of-a-kind paradise.

Also, he seems to be under the impression that derelict gas stations filled with rats and asbestos are pure catnip to middle-class suburbanites.

People might think YES TRESPASSING by default; so, I'd better put up 57 signs to the contrary!

—this guy

Athennia had set some chicken breasts out to thaw for dinnertime before we left the house earlier.

And we may well have been covered in ticks by this point.

So, obviously, the only sensible course of action was to get home ASAP to grab showers and get that chicken in the oven pop in for a nice sit-down dinner at Julio's in Fairless Hills!

...Aaaand, I'm not sure whose picture Riley was posing for here, but it wasn't mine...

I ordered a cheesesteak with jalapeños and fried onions...

Athennia and Riley each got ginacotti—which is pizza, folded up on itself and deep-fried...

...Because pizza's just too damn healthy unless you deep-fry it.

The rest of the evening was less noteworthy: Just some much-needed showers, getting ready for another school and work week, and watching some funny YouTube videos together before bed.

Monday morning, however, Athennia captured both photographic and videographic evidence of two separate cars arriving to pick up four grown women from the apartment below us at 5:15 in the morning...

Maximum occupancy for a two-bedroom apartment is four adults though, and their blue Nissan SUV was still in the parking lot when I got up two hours later—and someone was still down there rummaging around and... I don't even know... bowling?

...Hanging drywall?

...Installing a closet?

...Being raided by pillagers?

Either someone downstairs is a master Foley artist gearing up for the sound design on an upcoming remake of Heat I haven't heard about, or our neighbors are just the most inconsiderate shitballs on the planet (as we've suspected all along).

And, at any rate, the woman whom Athennia lovingly termed "Bitchface" back in the winter—the one who walks around wearing a tablecloth and a shower cap anytime she goes outside—was still home, despite the fact that four others had left earlier.

...Which means their occupancy is at least at five (not including the bow-legged baby we see on occasion).

Aaaaaand, since they've relapsed back into their old noisy and disrespectful ways for the past week or two, it might just be time for a concerned citizen to alert the landlord to some of their recent goings-on.

Like the noise.

...And the twin pairs of microwaves and portable washing machines they've had delivered recently.

...And—a landlord favorite—the excess occupancy that's in willful and direct violation of their lease.

Monday evening, I cooked up four pounds of chicken thighs, Athennia prepared some delicious rice, and we made Qdoba-style burrito bowls for dinner (and lunches for the rest of the week).

Then she and I watched King Arthur (the one from way back in 2005 with Clive Owen) and Riley joined us for some ice cream shortly before bedtime.

And earlier today, I had lunch with my friend Richard (whom I hadn't seen since late May) at Cancun Restaurant a few miles up the road in Fairless Hills.

Then we headed over to Five Mile Woods and got in an hour-long walk with a passing rainstorm midway through (which didn't actually affect us at all, since we were deep in the woods and wouldn't have even realized it was raining if we hadn't heard the raindrops falling on the canopy overhead).

The stream had sort of a milky quality to it for some reason. I can't imagine why; but, whatever the reason, it looked pretty badass!

And, we didn't see this until we'd walked the entire forest and got back to the parking lot...