Paradise, Potato Skin, and Punkins (and a Keleton)

Paradise

Last Monday the 23^rd, we made another trip out to visit Brody so we could iron out the details of our house:

With Bureaucratus (the god of build permits and stormwater management) having finally answered our prayers, we could finally get to the "fun stuff"—like choosing our cabinet and countertop styles, selecting our carpeting and hardwood floors, and deciding which options to splurge on from the get-go (e.g. sliding glass doors off the dining room to the backyard), and which to skimp on for now to ensure we remain in budget (e.g. basic fiberglass stairs up to the front and back doors, rather than a porch, deck, or patio we can just as easily install a few years down the road).

We're of course 2/2 for our Check Engine light coming on whenever we take a long drive that's in any way related to the property or the house; so, I told Athennia that this was the time to do it—while her car was in the shop getting un-rear-ended, and we could put the miles on her rental instead!

Sure enough, the first half of the drive sucked: Even in late morning on a Monday, the turnpike was clogged with soccer moms and Jersey drivers—none of whom seemed particularly interested in the sensibility of keep right, pass left.

Athennia's temporary Malibu came equipped with Sirius XM—

<spins finger around in a whoopedy-doo fashion>

—and, as annoying as satellite radio is, it was still preferable to the privacy nightmare of connecting our phones to a rental car we lacked the ability to audit.

And so, as we slogged through the traffic, the eye in the sky saw fit to throw us an aptly-named tune from the Kinks...

One lady we passed literally had one horsepower, so I gave her a bit of leniency; but, the rest of these clowns should be ashamed.

Things got rural soon enough though; and eventually we were on the other side of the There's No Place Like Home coin.

By the time we got out to the Paradise area, Athennia and I were in desperate need of some lunch.

If you've read the blog this past month, you already know all about how weak-willed we've been as far as letting Burger King effortlessly manipulate our dining habits with a measly page of coupons in the mail.

So, we found a BK a few miles from Brody's office and partook in a smug "they won't know what hit 'em" victory chuckle as we pulled into the drive-thru and whipped out yet another trusty coupon for a few measly bucks off a pair of soggy cheeseburgers that we already knew full well would still be disappointing even if BK were paying us to eat them.

We ordered at the speaker and then hung an immediate left as per drive-thru protocol, when suddenly...

Suddenly, it felt like we were behind an IKEA store, waiting for a guy named Skippy to emerge from the shadows and try to sell us methamphetamine.

We miraculously survived our trip to the BK Alley—and our consumption of the BK food itself—and arrived at Brody's office at precisely the 2:30 time we'd previously agreed upon.

I had a clever bribe of 15 homegrown cherry tomatoes and half a dozen Hot Thai peppers ready to hand him the moment he greeted us, and I'm 100% convinced this was the pivotal factor in our being able to shave almost $9,000 off of the total house and build price to bring us down into a price range we feel is comfortably in our budget.

So, our meeting with Brody was delightful and productive—and served to lift an enormous weight off our shoulders, to finally be back in budget again for the first time since two months ago when we found out we'd probably be on the hook for some degree of stormwater management—and may also need to have a new well drilled.

With the details all hashed away, it was time for our 90-minute drive home... in Monday-evening rush hour.

But, wait; this was the countryside: There's no traffic out here—even right smack in the middle of rush hour!

See?

Somehow we could just sort of sense when we were getting close to home though.

I can't quite put my finger on exactly what gave it away; there just seemed to be a vibe of sorts...

See?

And, look who was still here party-hardying as we got off Route 1 in Fairless Hills: These hapless General Motors guys that have been camped out here for a month now whining for more money—and, I would assume, making no money in the meantime...

Nothing particularly blog-worthy happened Tuesday and Wednesday; but, Thursday night we made a pizza for dinner and then Taylor, Ahlina, and CJ came to pick Riley up so they could go see Five Nights at Freddy's.

Friday morning I snapped this pic from our bedroom window when I woke up around 7:15 A.M...

Then I took this one a few hours later...

Every now and then, it does actually get quasi-quiet around here for a few hours in the afternoon. And sometimes—usually when you're up high and far-removed from it—the neighborhood almost even looks friendly!

Friendly...

Friendly's...

Potato Skin

I was kind of honored to see they had named a sundae after me... until I realized that not only had they not done that, but I don't even know who this dope is...

I do, however, find his sundae game questionable: Like, did you ever think there might be a reason the chocolate ice cream is "forbidden," you abecedarian Merry Andrew?

That reason is because it sucks! As do caramel sauce and crushed sugar cone. It's peanut butter, hot fudge, more peanut butter, and a Reese's cup on a Kevin sundae, with vanilla ice cream!

And, even though you'll have just finished eating dinner and you know you only have room for half of it, you always order the large anyway.

After we had ordered and were waiting for our food, something occurred to me and I looked trepidatiously at Kitten and the molerat...

That hadn't been on my Bingo card last time, and it certainly wasn't this time either; so, hopefully it would be a once in a lifetime event!

But, as I un-mummified my silverware, I found a little surprise in my napkin: a complimentary potato skin, even though we hadn't ordered any appetizers!

Also, Athennia realized immediately thereafter that she had a "backwards" fork...

This seemed like the perfect moment for some lovely shots of my happy family...

Our waitress was terrific and our meals were quite delicious though; and soon enough, we felt like we were going to pop—which is of course the universal sign for "It's time to eat another 15,000 calories worth of ice cream!"

Athennia and I already knew we were getting the Kevin sundae. (The good one, not the lame one.)

But the molerat needed to look at the menu.

I guess her spidey sense was tingling, because she somehow knew the exact moment I pulled out my camera...

And, with that, the entire waitstaff paraded out to the table next to us to wish some little girl a happy birthday...

I don't remember Athennia being mesmerized by it; but, apparently, she was...

The food was good. The ice cream was great. Not a bad way to spend a Friday evening and... wait; we spent $90 on ONE MEAL?!

Athennia got burned by Amazon recently; so, we stopped by Barnes and Noble on the way home in the hopes of finding an intellectually-stimulating gift for Olivia's birthday—which we did, along with a killer Christmas present for both girls :)

Punkins

We had made plans to go to a pumpkin patch on Saturday with Kelly, Steve, Olivia, and Hannah.

We'd been hoping to dispense with the GPS and follow yonder star instead, but the clouds made that kinda dicey...

Yonder star got us stuck behind this guy instead :(

We'd suggested a pumpkin patch just around the corner from Kelly and Steve's house since we'd end up being in the area later anyway to have dinner at my parents' later.

Kelly said we might as well just come to the house first and we could all leave together from there...

These next two pictures are sponsored by Coca Cola—the clever advertising ploy being that even you can feel like a rockstar if you get yourself a cool older cousin; a killer pair of shades; and, most importantly, someone drinking a Coke in the background of your photos...

As Kelly was getting the girls ready, she asked Liv, "Hey Livvie! Tell Uncle Kevin and Aunt Athennia, where are we going?

WE GONNA GO GET PUNKINS!

It was a short drive to the patch, and yonder star pulled through after all!

As we turned into the parking lot and came to a stop, the heavens opened up and a chorus of angels rang out over the fields...

There was a wagon just getting ready to head out to the patch; but, the guy called out to us to ask if we wanted to jump on.

Free hayride before we go picking? Sure!

It was literally a 16-second wagon ride to the top of the slight hill on which the pumpkin patch sits; but, we got some nice photos :)

Then the guy dumped us in the middle of the field and told us to find a wheelbarrow, and the patch was ours...

Everyone got out and started meandering, as you do when searching for the "perfect" pumpkin amidst thousands of others that are equally satisfactory.

But, why was this one couple collectively dressed as a watermelon and bee-lining to a specific location like they were on a top secret espionage mission?

Something fishy was going on, for sure.

And I wouldn't know exactly what until about 11 seconds later when I stumbled upon this...

The Search

We all scoured the field in search of The One...

In case anyone can't tell, this was Liv's first outing...

I want this flat one! No wait; this one is already blown out—so, the work of carving it is already done!

This one looked downright perfect...

Liv? Your thoughts?

Frankly, I can find nothing wrong with this one at all. Anyone would be thrilled to receive this pumpkin, and I daresay you will not find its equal anywhere in this patch.

So anyway, movin' on!

Paydirt!

One by one, we all struck gold. Or orange, I guess...

Checking In

I made my rounds with our wheelbarrow to see how the rest of the crew was doing...

Liv's Search Continues

Riley made the mistake of being a good big cousin and offering to help Liv find the perfect pumpkin...

Liv must've found more than a dozen ideal candidates.

And, each time, she would stop Riley and tell her that that was the one; and then when Riley would ask her if she was sure, Liv would get up and keep looking.

You could just see Riley's anxiety melt away...

And Liv got back to the wheelbarrow with a shit-eating grin that just seemed to scream,

Ready to Go

But, that meant we were all set!

So Liv, you can push the wheelbarrow down to the checkout area at the bottom of the hill; right?

Absolutely!

HGGEEEEEEEGHH!

Ermm... Absolutely not!

No worries. Uncle Kev has your back ;)

"The Big Pumpkin"

Kelly mentioned stopping at Solly Farm a short ways down the road to get some pictures with their gigantic pumpkin.

As we were parking, Athennia said, "Oh! Let's grab a pie for dessert at your parents'!"

Cool.

When Kelly and Steve pulled in next to us and got out, Kelly said, "We were thinking of getting a pie for dessert."

Cool cool.

But first, The Big Punkin.

All these years, I assumed this thing was made out of some sort of plaster—something lightweight enough to be moved around, but heavy-duty enough to withstand the elements.

It turns out, it's made from mildewy foam that looks like it's older than I am and has every strain of COVID all at the same time...

Steve took some pictures for us—but strategically moved 30 degrees first so that we were staring directly into the sun while trying to smile... because that's the kind of brother-in-law he is.

Luckily, Kelly took the reins and I got to use my niece as a human shield :)

Dinnertime

And then we went inside and bought a few (yes, that's three) pies before we all headed over to my parents' house for dinner.

Our garlic is coming up already...

We ordered takeout for dinner. Kitten, the molerat, and I went with cheese steaks. (And my mom said the bill to feed all nine of us wasn't even $90!)

We had a lovely visit—with lots of pie—and headed home sometime after sundown.

We got stuck behind Lady 5349 on the way home, who apparently thinks turning her lights on at night is a pointless idea.

When we made it back over to our neck of the woods and got off the highway, look who was still out here havin' a blast!

Sunday was pretty low-key—although we did have a riveting little event shortly before bedtime, when the car alarm that had been going off intermittently a block down the street all day long decided to up its game around 9:30 P.M. and just change over to nonstop whining.

Athennia called the non-emergency police number and tactfully framed it as a case of, "I hope everyone's okay: someone just keeps setting off the alarm, and I don't know if they're in trouble, or what..."

That seemed to get a patrol unit out here far quicker than a nuisance complaint would've been likely to achieve; and, when he couldn't identify whose car it may be or where that person might've been at the moment, the cop resorted to jimmying open the driver's side door...

Then popping the hood...

Then either pulling the fuses for the horn or disconnecting the horn entirely.

With the car's lights still flashing like crazy (but the noise now silenced), the cop got back into his vehicle and sped off—only to return 10-15 minutes later with a buddy... who jumped into the car, started it, and drove off following the cop.

I have no idea whether that's standard protocol these days; and I'm only a little bit ashamed to admit that, at that hour, I didn't much care!

After dinner on Monday we carved pumpkins.

Riley was the first to start...

...But I was the first one finished...

Athennia may have taken things a little too far!

We posed them...

Then killed the lights...

I'm pretty sure I heard someone growl, "Fresh meat!"

(Hopefully one of the pumpkins said it, and not my wife or my daughter!)

But, when we turned the lights back on, the two scary ones had turned on the kitten...

Later that night, Riley decided she wanted to make some Halloween cupcakes. (And, unbeknownst to us, she stayed up until 2:00 A.M. baking!) The cupcakes were incredible though...

And a Keleton!

Finally, Tuesday was Halloween—which marks Athennia's one-year anniversary at her not-so-new-anymore new job.

Riley wanted to go trick-or-treating in my parents' neighborhood again; so, we headed over after she finished school so Athennia could meet us there...

...with a pit stop at Mickey D's for lunch on the way.

I got hit with a pretty massive dose of expectation versus reality...

Then Athennia brought Qdoba for dinner on her way home from work; and, shortly after that, Kelly, Steve, and the girls arrived...

As soon as the sun went down, we headed out to cause some mayhem!

It took Liv a couple houses to warm up to the idea of braving a bunch of spooky creatures to knock on strangers' doors...

...But, in no time, she was demanding,

Trick or treat! Smell my feet! Gimme something good to eat!

...And of course politely saying thank you afterward!

She only wanted to hold hands with her BFF Riley all evening long...

But, who can blame her? Riley's one cool keleton!

Felis catus octobrus

Of course, it wouldn't be an "end of the month" post without cat pics...

So, here ya go!

The Pennster

The Luckster