Putting the 'AI' in 'V[A]lent[I]ne's Day'

Real quick—just because this ended up not getting covered in Kitten's writeup last night—I wanted to share a few pictures of the bismuth crystal dish she got me for Valentine's Day...

And my gift to Kitten was that I spent a few hours cleaning just about the entire apartment today. (We also exchanged six art prints to hang in our bedroom; but those are decidedly not family-blog friendly, and so I won't be posting pictures here.)

But, I wanted to give our readers a little Valentine's Day treat as well; and, since I wasn't really actively involved in anything work-wise today, I decided to try training an AI on the last two months' worth of blog posts while I was cleaning the apartment.

Then when I got back to my computer, I asked it some questions to see what it had inferred about our family from the stories we published about our lives throughout December and January.

And, uh... I would very much like to share with you how that went.

So, just a quick pro tip in case it's not apparent to anyone: Everything below this line (with the exception of my prompts, and bits of my commentary in the blue boxes) was 100% generated by an artificial intelligence in response to a series of questions I asked.

Hopefully you'll find the read as entertaining as we did :)

Enjoy, and happy Valentine's Day!

"What has Kitten been doing lately?"

Based on the provided context, Kitten, also known as Athennia, has been closely involved in numerous activities and incidents. Recently, she and her family celebrated a successful Thanksgiving dinner and are facing the upcoming festive season of Christmas, where they are looking forward to spending quality time with their family and giving presents. Furthermore, she has been experiencing ups and downs, such as observing her neighbors' antics, narrowly avoiding a potential conflict, and indulging in her pet cats' activities and antics, contributing to an engaging yet challenging everyday life. Athennia is also part of the family's efforts to deal with loud neighbors and navigate their domestic life.

On another note, Athennia has actively contributed to her family dynamics, especially in dealing with stressful situations. When a family member named Ahlina faced a legal situation, she managed to have a potential jail term and significant fine reduced to just a $300 fine. This exhibits her strong role within her family and her ability to manage situations effectively. However, the context doesn't provide any specific details about Athennia's personal hobbies, aspirations, or professional life.

"What has the molerat been up to?"

Sorry, I can't find an answer to your question.

"Tell me about the molerat."

Based on the context provided, “molerat” appears to be a nickname for Riley, a member of the family in the excerpt. The year 2024 is described as the "Year of the Molerat," likely signifying a period of importance or change for Riley. It is mentioned that she turned 14 in 2024 and had a birthday dinner at Friendly’s. Riley also appears to have been gifted with a device that has LED lights in red, green, and blue, which she learned to operate. Descriptions given suggest that she enjoyed experimenting with the different light combinations. She had plans for her friend Kassie to sleep over one evening.

Besides these details, it is worth noting that the term ‘molerat’ is used in an affectionate tone, suggesting a familiar or close relationship between the narrator and Riley. Furthermore, Riley's interactions with the LED light device suggest an explorative and playful nature.

"Is Riley 'emo'?"

Sorry, I can't find an answer to your question.

"Does Riley have a chin?"

Sorry, I can't find an answer to your question.

"What has Riley done lately?"

Based on the provided context, Riley has been engaged in a few activities. First, she was taken out for her birthday dinner at a place called Friendly's, following her request. The meal was filled with excessive dessert and was enjoyed by the entire family. Aside from the dinner, Riley was also involved in her birthday celebration where she received presents. She specifically requested for money and oddly enough, got an ounce of silver, which in the context is associated with financial stability and a hedge against inflation.

Later, Riley was reported to have a sleepover at Kassie's. It's not clearly stated what specific activities were carried out at the sleepover, but it occurred on a Friday afternoon. Following her sleepover at Kassie's, Riley and Kassie spent the following day together, though no specific activities were detailed. Lastly, amidst her fun activities, Riley was also busy with her math homework with aid from family members.

"What is Taylor doing?"

Based on the provided context, Taylor seems to be engaged in family affairs. The text mentions her participating in a family Christmas with Kevin's extended family on December 13th. Taylor's involvement in this gathering is presented as a respite from dealing with her home situation, specifically avoiding an expectation set by her Aunt's brother that she assist in cleaning out her Aunt's storage unit. Given that the mother described in the text is a hoarder, such a task is considered challenging and quite arduous, which seems to have Taylor seeking solace and escape in the Christmas gathering with Kevin's family.

Additionally, it's implied that Taylor has been dealing with the demanding circumstances surrounding her family, specifically a relative's hoarding problem and the difficult dynamics that might entail. However, apart from these instances and her passive participation in the Christmas event, the context does not provide more detailed information on her recent activities or involvement in other events. For a more comprehensive picture of Taylor's recent activities, more specific details or context would be needed.

"Who is Kevin?"

Kevin appears to be a prominent character in the provided context. He seems to be living with the narrator and is likely part of their daily life. He uses text communication often, keeping in touch with the narrator and sharing details about his commute or the events occurring in their neighborhood. Kevin's actions throughout the context hint at a strong sense of responsibility - he documents disrupting behavior in their locality and was ready to call the non-emergency police line when trouble arose.

Additionally, Kevin is comfortable interacting with nature, as evidenced by the hiking trip described. He even demonstrated his light-hearted nature by humorously throwing a stick into a puddle and declaring it "Excalibur". He also enjoys spending quiet evenings at home, watching television shows like 'Fringe'. Lastly, it's worth noting that Kevin contributes to a blog, particularly maintaining its visual content through photography curation and arrangement.

"Are there any cats?"

Yes, the context indicates the existence of multiple cats in the household. Specifically, the cats mentioned are Odin, Penny, and Lucky. Odin seems to have adapted well, making himself comfortable right from the first day. The text also humorously personifies these cats, describing them as having meetings and swapping advice on how to be "gods". Penny and Odin are frequently interacting, with scenarios indicating they are comfortable with each other. Lucky is referred to as a separate entity in "another dimension", indicating metaphorically that he might not be physically present with Odin and Penny. Nonetheless, Lucky, through an "ambassador", apparently manages to establish a positive connection with the aforementioned feline characters.

"Who is Penny?"

Penny is one of the family's cats and she holds a special role in their everyday life. As depicted through the narratives and images, Penny exhibits behaviors and characteristics attributed to both pet companionship and a sort of playful mythology created by the family. She is portrayed with a larger than life persona, being referred to jokingly as a Russian hacker and a queen ruling the underworld, due to her blue-colored filter and dynamic interaction with Odin, another cat in the house.

In accordance with the family's imaginative interplay, Penny serves as a source of entertainment as well as companionship. Her interactions with Odin suggest a playful relationship, indicated by the reference to 'meetings' held on office chairs, clandestine encounters under the table, and secure online gatherings. Nevertheless, Penny also seems to assert a degree of dominance over Odin, demonstrated by her licking him, which is interpreted as potential societal grooming. Therefore, Penny's role in the family is multifaceted - she provides amusement, offers companionship, and takes part in dynamic power interplay among the pet hierarchy.

"How and when did Odin arrive?"

Odin, the Siamese cat, was introduced into the family at the beginning of December 2023, as discussed in the family's December newsletter. Despite experiencing difficult conditions before he was found, Odin Sigfrid is described as the bravest and most joyful furball one could meet. His impact on the family was substantial, as they express that even their darkest times couldn't overshadow the joy that Odin brought into their lives.

The newsletter humorously presents adventures between Odin and Penny, another family cat, in which they frequently take breaks and even decide to swap realms of rule, metaphorically referring to their play and rest locations. Odin initially chose the bottom shelf of the TV stand as his throne, but, after rejecting a soft, warm cat bed offered by a human trying to win his favor, he moved to the second shelf. Thus, it can be inferred that Odin had quickly made himself at home in the very beginning of his time with the family.

"How is Liv doing?"

Based on the available context, the latest information available about Liv pertains to her attending a family dinner at Kevin's mother's house. During this event, Liv's parents, Kelly and Steve, utilized a reverse psychology approach to encourage her to eat her dinner. They insisted that Liv's food was Daddy's and that she must refrain from eating it. This tactic increased her desire to consume her meal, proving to be a somewhat effective approach to get her to finish her food. However, the condition for Liv to enjoy the chocolate cake dessert was that she must finish her entire meal first.

There is another event where Kevin attempted to persuade Liv into thinking that she was Uncle Kev and he was Olivia. Unfortunately, the context does not elaborate on Liv's reaction to his antics or her overall response in that situation. Aside from these incidents, no more specific updates about Liv's situation or status have been provided in the context. Her immediate condition following these events remains unclarified.

"How does Kelly feel?"

Sorry, I can't find an answer to your question.

"What has Kelly been doing lately?"

Based on the provided context, Kelly, along with Steve, has been mentioned in a scenario where they are trying to get their child to finish her dinner. They have been employing a "reverse psychology" tactic whereby they tell their child that the food on the plate is Daddy’s and she absolutely better not take another bite of it. This method seems to effectively encourage their child to eat, as it naturally makes her want to do just the opposite. Unfortunately, no additional or specific details are provided about other activities that Kelly has been engaged in recently.

"Tell me about Steve."

From the provided context, it can be inferred that Steve is likely a family member or at least close to the family. He was present at a family dinner where cheesy cream of potato soup, popcorn chicken, and mac and cheese were served. It seems that Steve is a caregiver to a child named Liv. He and another individual named Kelly have adopted a "reverse psychology" approach in an attempt to encourage Liv to finish her meals. This suggests that Steve has regular interaction and an authoritative role in Liv's life.

However, the detailed information about Steve's role in the family or his relationship to either Liv or other family members is not entirely evident from the context provided. Also, it's not explicitly clear what his personality is like, aside from the fact that he seems to have a humorous or playful approach to dealing with children's eating habits. Therefore, while some light can be shed on Steve's involvement in family life and his tactics of handlingIn the provided context, Steve appears to be involved in a familial setting. He is possibly a parent, specifically to a young girl named Olivia, and is likely involved with meals and possibly disciplinary actions related to the child. An incident is mentioned where Steve and another person, likely his partner, use a strategy of "reverse psychology" to encourage Olivia to finish her dinner. They jokingly tell her the food on her plate is Daddy's (Steve's) and she better not take another bite, a tactic which naturally prompts the girl to do the opposite.

Furthermore, Steve seems to be firm but also playful, willing to engage in light-hearted tactics to manage child behavior. Despite Olivia trying to negotiate for her dessert without finishing dinner, Steve remained steadfast in his rule that she could only have dessert if she finished her meal, demonstrating his role in setting boundaries. Beyond these interactions, there isn't much additional information provided about Steve in the context.

"Tell me about Mom and Dad."

Sorry, I can't find an answer to your question.

"Tell me about Catherine and Ron."

Sorry, I can't find an answer to your question.

"For God's sake, nimrod, what about Kevin's parents?"

Based on the provided context, Kevin's parents are not explicitly named. However, there is a reference to Kevin's mother inviting the narrator for dinner, but no specific name is given. There's no clear mention or detail about Kevin's father. Therefore, additional concrete information about Kevin's parents cannot be provided based on this context.

"How did Christmas go?"

The Christmas celebration, as shared in the context, is filled with unexpected surprises and familial enjoyment. On Christmas Eve, amidst a few unplanned events, the family chose to engage in a hike at Tyler State Park. It was a day of appreciating nature as shown when they came across a creature referred to as a "Christmas Wren," showcasing an appreciation for little, unanticipated encounters. However, their plan to explore an unseen path was cut short due to the slippery condition of the path, causing them to retreat.

Then on actual Christmas Day, they received an unexpected gift from their neighbors Jeff and Lillian. The gift, a token of appreciation for sharing home-grown produce throughout summer and fall, was a four-tier set of candy, chocolate, popcorn, and cookies which they found utterly delightful. The family had already celebrated their Christmas before the actual day, hence this surprise was warmly received as an extension of their Christmas celebration.

"Are the downstairs neighbors good people?"

Based on the provided context, it appears the downstairs neighbors are not well-regarded by the author. The constant disruption caused by their loud partying and music, particularly late into the night, has led to several complaints from the author. In addition, there is mention of intentional vandalism by the neighbors to the apartment building's main downstairs door, purportedly to ease access for their many guests, which was also negatively viewed.

The strained relationship between the author and the neighbors is further exemplified by an incident in the stairwell involving a neighbor referred to by the author as "Bitchface". Additionally, the neighbors' decision to stay in the apartment despite the author's hopes they would leave by the end of the month was met with disappointment. Therefore, based on the provided context, it seems that the downstairs neighbors were disruptive and not well-liked.

"What pejorative words have been used in the text?"

The derogatory terms mentioned in the conversation include "thugs" and "assclowns". The term "thugs" is used by Kevin to describe a group of people who are referred to often throughout his narrative. They are involved in activities such as shouting, littering, and discussing parole. Elsewhere the term "assclowns" is used by him to describe what seems to be the same group, particularly in reference to their actions of smashing empty beer bottles and leaving the glass in the street. Both these terms are used negatively to represent individuals Kevin disagrees with or disapproves of their behavior.

"What is an "assclown"?"

In the given context, the term "assclown" is used in a pejorative or derogatory sense to describe individuals who are considered to be behaving foolishly, obnoxiously, or irresponsibly. The term itself is a combination of "ass," a crude term for a foolish person, and "clown," which is usually associated with silly or nonsensical behavior. Therefore, it is important to understand that the term "assclown" is informal and colloquial, and it is generally considered offensive or rude.

In the context provided, "assclown" is directed towards a group of people who were shouting, littering, and discussing their parole statuses publicly. This behavior disrupted the peace and left the place in a mess, leading to them being labelled as "assclowns". The writer used "assclown" for another group causing a nuisance by smashing beer bottles, causing damage, and leaving glass all over the street. These instances suggest that the writer employs the term to express their disapproval of such disruptive and anti-social behaviors.

"What is the perceived quality of Burger King food?"

Based on the provided context, the writer experienced disappointment with the Burger King food. The Whopper burgers they ordered lacked cheese, which was a vital component for them. Additionally, they expressed dissatisfaction with the size of the Whopper, implying that they didn't believe it lived up to its name or expectation. Further, the Burger King food left the writer "still thoroughly craving an actual burger" leading them to choose another restaurant, Red Robin, for their next meal. This suggests that in the author's experience, the quality of food from Burger King was not to their satisfaction or expectation.

In discussing alternatives, the inference can be made that they regard Red Robin's burgers as superior. In the comparison, the author indicates that Burger King didn't satiate their craving for a proper burger but Red Robin was a more satisfactory choice. Hence, this context provides an unfavorable review of the quality of Burger King food.

"Do people like Qdoba?"

The context provided doesn't include any detailed reactions or statements regarding general public opinion about Qdoba. However, it is inferred from the context that the narrator and their companion Kevin might have a positive opinion of Qdoba. The narrator mentioned stopping by Qdoba to grab dinner, suggesting it's a place they at least occasionally dine in. Kevin and the narrator had Qdoba meals which were described as "spectacular," indicating a high satisfaction level with their food. However, during their last visit before the events of the context, the bowls they ordered were poorly filled by a new employee, which was a negative experience for them. This negative experience does not seem to affect their overall perception of the food outlet as they returned for more meals.

Again, it is important to note that these opinions are individual and may not fully represent the general public opinion on Qdoba. Further information, like reviews from more people or a larger scale public opinion study, would be needed to accurately determine the general opinion towards Qdoba.

"How many people are there?"

The text mentions five distinct individuals. The first individual is the unnamed narrator, who is also a participant in the conversation. The other four are explicitly mentioned by name. These are 'Kevin', a person who appears to be sharing a living space with the narrator and possibly a romantic partner, given the mention of shared activities like hiking. The narrator also refers to 'Jeff' and 'Lillian', who are identified as the downstairs neighbors they have a friendly relationship with. The fifth individual is 'Lil' or 'Lillian' from downstairs who shows up at their door. Two animals, Odin and Penny, are also mentioned but they are identified as 'fur babies', implying they are pets and not human individuals. Hence altogether, five human individuals are mentioned.

It is important to note the identity of the person referred to as 'Lil' and 'Lillian' may seem unclear at first but the text provides sufficient context to confirm they are the same individual. Despite the minor confusion resulting from the different references, 'Lil' is clarified to be 'Lillian', the downstairs neighbor, when the narrator remembers who 'Lil' is. It's also worth mentioning that Rita and Taylor are mentioned but these individuals are not part of the conversation or events described in the immediate narrative and hence, are not included in the count.

"Who is the kindest person?"

Based on the provided context, it's challenging to determine the kindest person as specific actions or attributes relating to kindness weren't particularly highlighted. However, Lillian and Jeff, the downstairs neighbors, could potentially be seen as the kindest individuals because they appreciated the produce shared from the upstairs neighbors' garden. In return, they gave a thoughtful Christmas gift containing different tiers of candy, chocolates, popcorn, and cookies. Their actions show consideration and gratitude. However, it should be noted that kindness can be subjective and dependent on various factors not entirely encapsulated in the given context.

"Who is the person in charge?"

Based on the provided context, the leader in question seems to be a character referred to as 'The Slinkies' Leader'. This character admits to being a double agent, presumably leading or overseeing the group of people or situation mentioned. There are also references to a character named Odin who exhibits some authoritative traits; however, the exact dynamics of the leadership or the breadth of Odin's authority are not precisely detailed in the context provided. It is clear that Odin has a significant presence in the narrative, but it's unclear if he has any form of overseeing or leadership role. Overall, 'The Slinkies' Leader' appears to be the primary figure of authority mentioned in the text.

"Who is the most dangerous person?"

Based on the provided context, the person who could most likely be perceived as dangerous is Ahlina. The text mentions that Ahlina was facing the possibility of a year or two in jail and a several-thousand-dollar fine, which implies involvement in some serious wrongdoing. She managed to have her sentence reduced to a $300 fine and no jail time. It is suggested that her behavior included going "apeshit on people every time they do something you don't like", indicating aggressive behavior. However, specific charges or specific acts that denote her level of danger are not mentioned in the context. The notion that she could be dangerous is merely based on her brush with the law.

"When is settlement?"

The settlement on the Kutztown property is tentatively scheduled for 29th March, as per the updated CTA that Angel, presumably a real estate agent or intermediary, sent. However, this settlement date is not final due to the outstanding issues with the availability of funding from the USDA. As elaborated in the context, a federal budget resolution has not been passed yet, causing a pause in the USDA funding needed for the settlement. Hence, exact settlement details, including the date, remain uncertain until these aforementioned issues are resolved. The involved parties have agreed to extend the contract conditionally due to these factors.

The potential buyers, including the narrator, are caught in a Schrödingerian state of quantum contractuality, which means they are both under contract and not under contract at the same time. The sellers are holding onto a $2,000 check sent in good faith by the potential buyers since August. The context implies an ongoing dilemma between staying in negotiations with the current potential buyers or re-listing the property on the MLS (Multiple Listing Service) to start over with a new buyer. The uncertainty surrounding the settlement will continue until confirmed funding is procured and the settlement contract is finalized.

And, there we have it: Clearly, intelligence is in the eye of the beholder.

But, hopefully you enjoyed our little Valentine's Day gift and got a nice chuckle or two :)