We Do!

You've likely already gathered as much, if you've arrived here by way of an announcement card in your physical mailbox; and chances are good that two questions probably came to mind shortly thereafter...

1.) You two got married back in May of 2023? Why are you only now telling us in, like, the autumn of 2034?!

Yeah; sorry about that: We had a little snafu with the first batch of wedding announcements, compliments of the Levittown Wal-Mart.

Hindsight is 20/20; and, with that vision, we realize now that we could've cut out the middleman and just acquired our own 1970s-era printer and paid a two-year-old to cut the cards out by hand... which is probably the best-case scenario for the approach Wal-Mart apparently used, judging from the quality of what they presented us the day after our wedding.

And of course, all that is to say that we ended up having to send Kevin's design out to Canva to have them take a crack at printing it (hopefully on at least a 1990s-era printer this time); but, since this was heading into a holiday weekend, the turnaround time wasn't the fastest.

2.) 'Kay, that makes sense; but now, what in the world is this "self-uniting" marriage thingy? Did you two just jump over a broomstick and call it a day; or what?!

So, in a self-uniting marriage, the couple gets married in the presence of two witnesses, rather than by an officiant. It's sometimes known as a "Quaker marriage"; but, a couple decades back, the ACLU sued the government and argued that if the guy on the oatmeal box is allowed to do it, everyone should be allowed to do it.

With Athennia being raised with Amish-Mennonite ideals, and our political philosophies being what they are, we found the option of choosing two of loved ones as witnesses immensely more appealing than deferring to an eBay-certified officiant or some pastor we barely know.

And so, we headed over to Kevin's parents' house on the evening of the 18^th; and first, we exchanged some gifts...

Athennia says...

Kevin gave me a beautiful card and a wooden plaque he had engraved with an uplifting poem he created off of one I had once shared with him that I wrote at 16 during a much darker period of my life.

Then he presented Riley a necklace with a snowflake charm he picked out to symbolize their relationship (since they're both always hot, even though I'm always freezing cold).

And finally he surprised me with a check he had written me to pay off a substantial portion of the last remaining debt I had preceding our relationship.

Kevin says...

Athennia had cards custom-made for everyone in my family, expressing what they each mean to her and how happy she was to be joining the family.

She gave me a very touching card as well, along with a stained-glass heart pendant to commemorate the evening.

And of course, Ron, Catherine, Kelly, and Steve gave us lovely cards (and very generous donations to help fund Operation: Apartment Exodus Domus Acquirus).

And then we exchanged our I dos and made it official...

In a perfect world, we would have opted for our mothers to be our witnesses. But, recent drama with Athennia's immediate family being what it is, we ultimately decided to ask Kevin's mom and his sister Kelly instead.

And, with the blink of an eye and the stroke of a pen, we were married!

For our first act as newlyweds, we proceeded on to Las Margaritas with our witnesses and company in tow!

Lucero ended up taking care of everything herself for the entire evening—including snapping a few pics for us :)

Fun was had by all! :)

...Even Hannah, who was dealing with bronchiolitis and strep at the time :(

Liv was especially excited to get in on all the toasting.

Hannah was such a trooper all through the evening!

Kevin cracked himself up making fun of Riley...

...But everyone kissed and made up in the end :)

Excessive alcohol has a way of facilitating that, after all!

Our lovely flowers were compliments of Woods Services' Yellow Daffodil Flower and Gift Shop in Langhorne. (Kelly is the director of Woods's vocational program for people with special needs.) They do great work, and we were happy to give them our patronage :)

With fitting irony—as one of the most vehemently anti-Facebook and -Instagram and -Snapchat people on the planet—Kevin was apparently the only one to snap a pic of his meal.

After dinner, it was picture time! First, the happy couple...

Then with their adorable daughter...

Then with "the parents"...

Then with their sister and brother-in-law...

Lucero surprised us with a free round of drinks for another celebratory toast!

When Athennia explained that she was going to be Liv's aunt, Liv said, "Whoaaaa!"

...But then she must've realized the bittersweet reality:

That Athennia and Kevin are no longer dating.

There was nothing we could do to console her, and we eventually figured, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em...

And that's the story of how we tied the proverbial knot.

We decided to keep things small for now—and hopefully nobody feels excluded as a result—but, with any luck, we'll have a house by this time next year and we can have everyone over for a belated reception then.

Stay tuned :)

Love,

Athennia and Kevin